I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
