also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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