it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
