What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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