If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
