Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
