The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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