Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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