whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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