I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
