hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
