i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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