Small penises have feelings too.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
