What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
