I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize