So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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