just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
