it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
