i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
