Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
