just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize