I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i would punch a child for taco bell
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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