i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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