so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
