umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
