My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
