I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
