please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
