You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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