Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
