If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im just a social blackout drinker.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
