He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
