This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
