We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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