You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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