she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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