nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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