she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
