he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
