So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
True strength comes from lack of pants
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
