The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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