if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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