I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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