just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
