i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
