good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
