Already got asked if we're dating
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
