I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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