I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
