my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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