If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
