Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
