i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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