hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
