Christians are straight up FREAKS
Define "chronic" masturbator.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize