i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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