Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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