Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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