I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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