You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You are the jesus of drinking
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
