his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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