We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize