So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
