I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
