and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
