Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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